The Last Night
by Pervingly
Summary: What happens when James is in the apartment alone,  and gets a surprise phone call from his father,  and gets upset?  What will he do?  Summary sux I know,  but R&R plz. Warnings: Slash,  Self Harm.


**A/N Okay, so this idea has been nagging at me for, like, EVER, so I really needed to do this story before I completely went insane. I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I have I ever, owned ANY of the BTR boys…Yet :p Lol**

**James: And hopefully she never will.**

**Carlos: Fo serious. Who knows what she'd do with power over us.**

**Logan: Hey, leave Becca alone. She'd be an awesome owner of us. Would you rather it be Michelle550?**

**All: NOOO! She's EVIIILLLLL!**

**Me: Aww, thank you guys! I am soo glad you trust me to be your owners, because that is sooo true. Michelle would not be someone I'd want in my hospital room if I was ever, for some reason, in a coma. Who knows what she'd draw on my face…**

**Michelle: HEY! I resent ALL of that!…But that is sooo true Becca *Evil smile***

**Logan: Or Kendall, would you rather have Mr. Tool as our owner? He'd be having his way with you faster than you can say 'I am blonde'!**

**Kendall: Yah…Cause I wouldn't enjoy that…Cause that'd be gay…And I'm not gay…At all…**

**Me:…Awkward rhino…Yaahhh, not gay at all Kendall…And now I'm gonna discreetly change the subject…ON WITH THE STORY! =)**

James' P.O.V.

Today was a horrible, horrible day for me. This morning, it had started out like any other Wednesday morning did; me eating breakfast that Momma Knight had made, at the kitchen table, and then going to watch TV. Criminal Minds to be exact**(1). **Seems like it's gonna be a good day, right? Wrong. After watching the 3rd episode playing in the marathon, my cell phone rang. I figured it was one of the guys, or Momma Knight, since they had all left earlier while I was on my second episode of Criminal Minds. Kendall, Logan, and Carlos had gone out to play ice hockey; me telling them that I just wasn't feeling good. Momma Knight and Katie had gone to Minnesota for a couple days to visit their family.

When I went to pick up my phone, I noticed that it was a Minnesota number, and when I saw that, I knew who it was, cause there was no way that Momma K. and Katie had made it there already. I hesitantly picked it up with shaky hands.

"H-Hello?" I asked, shakily.

"Well hello James." He said and I could hear his smirk in his voice.

"W-What do you want?" I asked with another stutter in my voice.

"What? A father can't call his son?" He asked, feigning shock.

"Yes, they can, but you have never been my father, you are nothing but a sperm donor to me!" I yelled at him. Something that no-one knew, was that my father was always abusive to me, not a day going by that he didn't find something I did wrong, and beat the shit outta me. He was the reason I had become depressed. He was the reason I had started cutting. He was the reason I had come so close to suicide so many times, but didn't because I knew it would kill my friends. We-Me and my friends-had always been really close, but I just couldn't tell them about my 'Father'. It would make me look weak, and that was the last thing I wanted.

"Don't you use that tone with me, boy!" He yelled back.

"Whatever." I said.

"So when are you coming home?" He asked. I scoffed. As if.

"I am home. That place I USED to live in was never a home. It was a hell hole that I was more then willing to get away from." I told him, with hatred in my voice.

"Weather you like it or not, this will always be your home, and nothing will ever change that. Remember all the fun times we've had in this house? You were always screaming with excitement, weren't you?" All I could do was scoff again.

"Fun times? Yah right! The last time there was fun in that house was when mom was alive, and it wasn't even fun, because you were beating her every freakin' day! But then she committed suicide because of YOU! She's no longer alive because of YOU! And as for 'Screaming with excitement', I wasn't screaming out of excitement, and you know that you bastard, I was screaming out of pain and fear!" I yelled at him, tears running down my face.

"HA! That's funny, cause I seem to remember in the suicide note that she said she just couldn't raise you anymore. You were just to much of a burden on her shoulders to handle. So don't go blaming it on me! And you know you enjoyed me slapping the shit outta you. Don't even try to deny it, cause you know it's the truth." He said with a smirk in his voice.

"Y-You're lying. She didn't say that, she didn't even leave a note. And what the fuck has gotten into your mind that has brain damaged you that severely as to think that a person could actually LIKE getting the shit beat out of them? It's not true, it's sick and NOT true and exactly something that you would say!" I yelled at him.

"Do you want me to send you the letter? Cause I will. I'm not lying. And nothing has brain damaged me, I just know what I know! You're not a person…You're an animal and I was more than happy to treat you like one. I will send you that letter through fax. Goodbye." He said before he hung up. I just stood there stalk still with tears running down my face. He was going to send the letter…I couldn't believe it. My mother possibly hated me…Oh what am I saying? That man people call my 'father' was nothing but a lying bastard, so why was I choosing to believe him now?

I sat back down on the couch and thought for a little bit, before I was broken out of my thoughts by the fax machine coming on. I got up and saw that it was the letter that my father said he was going to send. Well that was fast. Would have expected him to go get a few beers first, pass out, wake up, throw up, repeat the cycle, and he'd never send the letter. I sad down again and read what it said.

_Dear Mark,_

_I'm sorry, but I had to do this. I just couldn't handle watching the kid anymore. I never wanted a kid, I wanted to live and party and drink, but I couldn't because I was a mom, and I couldn't bear with the guilt of just getting up and leaving you to take care of James alone. This is the only other way I could think of. This way, I won't have to feel the guilt since I'm still leaving you to take care of him. I'm sorry._

_Love, _

_Mary _**(Couldn't remember his moms name in the show)**

I couldn't believe it…She really didn't love me or want me…I ruined my parents lives…I screw up everyone's lives... My mother didn't want me, so she killed herself. My father didn't want me, so he beat me…Who knows, I might be the reason he became an alcoholic. Kendall, he wanted to be a hockey player, but instead he sacrificed his dream to help me achieve my dream of being a singer, and that was one of the many reasons I loved him. Same with Logan, he wanted to be a doctor, but he left that dream to help me…Carlos…I don't even know if he had a career goal…But if he did, he would've given that up because of me.

The more I thought about all of this, the more depressed I got. After a while, I found myself standing up and walking to the kitchen and grabbed a knife, walking to the sink. I had never done this before, but there's a first time for everything. I positioned the knife at my wrist, slowly dragging it across. There was a slight sting at first, but after the sting left, it felt…Good. I smiled slightly, seeing the blood go down the silver sink. I found myself making three more long cuts on my wrist. I didn't hear the front door open and close, to busy with the knife, so when I heard someone yell my name, I accidentally cut a little deeper then intended. I hissed at the sharp pain that I felt in my wrist, grabbing a paper towel and wrapping it around my wrist. I snapped my head up to see who had come in, I saw Kendall standing there with a look on his face of pure anguish; hurt, fear, anger, and sadness.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING JAMES?" Kendall yelled, coming over and taking the knife away from me.

"Uh-I-Er-I think it's self explanatory…" I mumbled with my head down.

"No, look at me." He said with a calmer voice now. I looked up at him to see the hurt and sadness shining in his eyes. "Why?" He asked, his voice quivering slightly. I walked over to the table with the note on it and brought it back to Kendall so he could read it. After he read it a few times, he looked up at me. He pulled me close into a hug, letting me bury my head in his shoulder. "I'm sorry James. So sorry. But cutting isn't the answer." He told me.

"It felt good though." I said.

"It's still never the answer." He said, tightening his hold on me. "You should've talked to me, Logan, Mom, or heck, even Carlos about this. We could've comforted you. You didn't have to cut." He continued.

"It wasn't the only reason." I said. He pulled back a little bit, his hands on my shoulders, extended between us.

"Huh?" He asked with an adorable confused look on his face.

"It's not the only reason I cut. I-I had started to think about how much I had ruined my parents lives, my mom to the extent of her killing herself. Who knows, I could be the reason my father became an alcoholic. I mean, that is why he beat the shit out of me. Because I ruined their lives. And then I started thinking about how you, and Logan had given up your dreams. You had always wanted to be a hockey player for the Minnesota Wilds, but you gave that up to come to California with me to help me with my dream. Logan, he wanted to be a doctor, but again, he gave that dream up so he could help me. Carlos…I don't even know if he had a dream other than being a superhero. Everyone gives up something for me. My mom gave up her freedom, my dad gave up my mom, you and Logan gave up your dreams, and Logan and Carlos both gave up seeing their Moms and Dads everyday. I'm not worth it all." I said with tears falling down my face again.

"Oh James, you ARE worth EVERYTHING. We WANTED to help you with your dream. We want to see you succeed in it. We haven't given up anything. We have our whole lives to go for our dreams, but being a band is what we want to do right now. As for your mom, she was just a selfish bitch who didn't want to take responsibility for her child. And what do you mean your father beat the shit out of you? Why didn't you ever tell us about this?" He asked with concern in his eyes.

"Why WOULD I tell you guys about it? I was ashamed. I'm a guy, I'm supposed to be able to protect myself, but instead, I allowed him to beat me since I was 7 because I was too weak to stop him! I was too scared to tell anyone about him, too scared that he would kill me, even though it would've been for the best." I ranted.

"James, you were only 7. You COULDN'T fight back. It wasn't that you were weak, you were just a little boy. No one would expect you to be able to. It would NOT have been for the best because then me, Logan, and Carlos wouldn't have our best friend and I wouldn't have the boy I love" He said, mumbling the last part so low, I don't think I was meant to hear it, but I did.

"You…Love me..?" I asked in complete shock. I never thought that THE Kendall Knight would ever like anyone like ME! A broken boy with way to much baggage for one person.

"Yes, I love you, so so much and I understand if you don't feel the same w-" I cut him off, by pressing my lips firmly but gently against his. I pulled back a little, our noses touching.

"I love you to." I said to him, smiling through the tears that were gradually slowing down.

"You do?" He asked in shock.

"Yes, very much. I have for a long time, but didn't think you would feel the same way." I told him. He smiled brightly at me and kissed me again, longer this time. When the need for air became more well known, we pulled apart, me laying my head against his shoulder.

"James?" He asked after a couple minutes of silence.

"Mhm?"

"Please never hurt yourself again…Please.." He pleaded with me.

"I promise." I told him softly, kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Good." He whispered, smiling at me.

Now that I have Kendall by my side, I don't think I'll ever feel the need to cut myself again, even if I get another call from my father.

**-AN Woot Woot! Second story posted tonight!…Or morning…But its like 1 am so…Is that night or morning…Night…Morning…Night…Morning…Okay, we'll just go with night to get this ridiculous little rant out of the way :D. Sooo…What did you guys think? I hope you liked it. Please tell me what you thought in a review :D.**

**-This story is based off the song The Last Night by Skillet (AWESOME rock band check em out! :D)**

**- (1) I have become SOOOOOOO addicted to Criminal Minds…Especially Morgan…*Drools at the thought of him*…Just ask Mr. Tool…I been goin on and on about how hot Morgan is to him lol**

**PEACE **

**~Becca 3 **


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